Sorry
by raeganb123
Summary: Rachel is just SO tired of being second-best to Quinn Fabray. Warning- A little on the angsty side.


_**Disclaimer- I do not own Glee.**_

* * *

**Sorry**

Rachel Berry was, for loss of other words, happy. She had been on a couple of dates with Sam Evans, and she liked him. Maybe not butterflies-in-her-stomach like, but she liked him. He was kind, and gentlemanly, and cute. No matter what anyone else said about his lips, she thought they were cute and especially liked them when they were pressed against hers.

* * *

When Finn had cheated on her with Quinn, she felt as though the world was caving in on itself. She was second best, again. And it was all because of Quinn Fabray, again. When Finn had looked at her with those sad I'm-sorry eyes, she knew whatever he was about to say would hurt her. She braced herself, and when he finally gained enough courage to tell her that he kissed Quinn, saw fireworks, and wanted her back, she tried to hold herself together. She wrapped her arms around herself, told Finn that she understood, and asked if he could leave her house.

That was the end of Finchel.

* * *

She doesn't blame Noah for their failed relationship in sophomore year. She thought he was a good boyfriend, and he was very attentive, and she actually did like him. But she saw the way he would look at Quinn Fabray during Glee and school. She then asked herself why she would allow this to happen to her. She didn't want to come in second to Quinn. She was tired of being a consolation prize. So she broke up with him, over exaggerating her attraction to Finn and telling him he felt the same way about Quinn. He didn't deny it and he didn't try to correct her. They both knew she was right. But what she didn't know was that Quinn's baby was also Noah's baby. When she later found out the real paternity of Quinn's baby, she understood Noah's feelings towards Quinn. So she forgave him and let him test out the waters with Quinn. Later on, she asked if he saw fireworks when he kissed her. His nod was all the answer she needed.

That was the end of Puckleberry.

* * *

And then one day, Sam asked her out on a date. He asked if she would like to see a movie and then catch dinner at Breadstix. He was sweet, and charming, and overall a really nice guy, so she said yes. He picked her up right on time, told her how nice she looked, and opened every door and pulled out every chair for her.

He had just gotten out of his relationship with Quinn. She, of course, was cautious. She didn't want to be another consolation prize. Not again. But then she got lost in his nice-guy persona, and she forgot all about being cautious.

He kissed her goodnight on her porch, and she thought it was romantic and sweet. Every Friday turned into date night after that. And after every single date, he would walk her up to her porch and kiss her goodnight. It became their thing.

* * *

It was their one month anniversary. She planned to cook dinner, light candles, play music, and do about every romantic thing she could do. She has a wide grin on her face for most of the day. She thinks to herself that she might love him. She might be in love with Sam Evans. She giggles at herself, and starts preparing dinner.

As she's cooking, her doorbell rings. She wipes her hands on her soft apron and makes her way to the door with her wide grin still lighting up her face.

When she opens the door to see Sam standing on her porch with his hands in his pockets, she smiles wider.

"Sam! What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be here until 6:30. I'm not ready yet!" Her hands are flailing around, but they still when he reaches out and gently grabs her arms.

He sighs loudly and whispers, "I think we need to talk, Rach."

She hears the tone in his voice and knows what's about to happen. He's going to dump her. She can see it in the way he's standing, slightly slouched as if trying to hold something back.

She clears her throat, which is now thick with emotion, and blinks back the tears she knows are going to fall. "Uh, right. Of course. Please, do come in." Her voice sounds hoarse and raspy, even to her.

She knows what's going to happen, even before he says them, because this has happened to her before.

She stands there, her back ramrod straight, trying to hold back her emotions. He stands there, bouncing from foot to foot, and he keeps running his hands through his blonde hair.

He shakes his head and sighs. "I don't know how to say this, Rach."

She starts blinking faster, trying not to let any of her tears fall. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

He looks down at the ground. "Rach, Quinn and I kissed. And I know this must make me the worst and most horrible boyfriend ever for doing this to you on our anniversary, but I thought you should know."

She sobs, wrapping her arms around herself. She's trying not to let herself fall apart. She tries to hold back the tears, but she fails. Her fragile dam breaks, and the tears escape.

"Did you see fireworks when she kissed you?"

She looked up to catch the slight nod that he answered with. One tear escaped from her right eye and made its way down her face until it dripped off of her chin and onto the carpet below.

She hears him clear his throat, like his throat and chest are full of emotion. "I swear that she kissed me, but I'm not going to deny that I kissed her back. I got out of school late and," his voice cracks. He clears his throat again and continues, "as I was leaving the school, she came out of nowhere and pulled me in for a kiss. I don't know why, but I kissed her back. But then she pulled back, smiled sweetly at me, and said, 'I knew you loved me more than Man-Hands. I knew you would never get over me.' I just felt so disgusted with myself, and I had to come over here and tell you. I'm just so sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear."

She tries pulling her arms tighter around her small frame. "You're still in love with her, aren't you?" His silence was the only answer she needed. "You don't love me."

He took a shaky step towards her and whispered, "But I _do _love you, Rachel. I do."

"You're just not in love with me." Hasn't she already had this conversation with Finn before?

She hears him sob quietly and hears him brokenly whisper, "I'm sorry. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve any of this."

She feels as though she's known all along that this would happen to her. Something in this universe must truly despise her. She thought she was done with the heartbreak.

He again brokenly whispers, "I'm sorry."

She raises her sad brown eyes from the floor to his tear-filled blue ones, and quietly answers, "I know."

Because she could tell he was sorry. But Finn and Noah were always sorry too.

But "sorry" never made her feel better. It usually just made her feel worse.

"Rach, please…" He trails off on whatever he was going to say.

She whimpers, because her heart hurt. She didn't think she'd have any of her heart left after this.

"Please don't call me that. I just-I can't. I can't stand to hear it."

She's pulling at her chestnut locks in frustration. It always has to happen to her, doesn't it? Playing second-string to Quinn Fabray.

She just doesn't understand. What makes Quinn so much more perfect than her?

Quinn treats everyone horribly. At least Rachel _tries _to not be selfish. She _tries _and _tries _and _tries_, but it's just never _enough_. Because she just can't compete with the size-two blonde. She's not good enough.

That's three boys now that have chosen Quinn over her. Three boys who see fireworks whenever they're near here, and three boys that have left her alone and heartbroken. She knows she won't be able to handle another broken heart.

It was supposed to be her and Sam's _anniversary_, for crying out loud. But Quinn had to go and ruin that too, because Quinn's only goal in life was to see Rachel Berry suffer.

And she did suffer. She suffered horribly. _Why couldn't she be as pretty as Quinn? Why wasn't she as skinny as Quinn? How come she wasn't as popular as Quinn?_

She clears her throat, but when she tries to speak her voice cracks. She clears it again. "I think it'd be best if you left, Samuel."

Again, he brokenly whispers, "I'm sorry."

She responds with the same, "I know."

He walks out the front door, and softly closes it behind him.

That was the end of Samchel.

It isn't until she hears his truck start and back out of her driveway that she allows herself to fully immerse herself in her pain. She cries, and cries, and _cries_. She thinks she hears her heart break.

And as she's sobbing on the floor, she thinks to herself, _Why am I never good enough?_

She collapses into a heap on her living room carpet as the perfect world around her shatters.

What was so perfect about Quinn Fabray that everyone had to go and leave her alone and broken?

_Fin._

* * *

**_A/N- A little on the angsty side. Like it? Love it? One of your favorites? Reviews are immensely appreciated!_**

**_Thanks for reading._**


End file.
